a rock still beats inside

 

the spider's domain
 

my own desert rain
 

 

short autobio
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


accepting heaven



i am captured

starlight burns me

love's a mystery

and a balm


walking wounded

lost in shadow

it's the storm before

the calm


i have tasted

hell's damnation

feasted, too,

on heaven's fare


secret summers

have embraced me

burning winters

frozen prayer


now that maya's grip

has loosened

and my mirror strains

to clear


now that nothing is

important

and there's nothing left

to fear


i will be

accepting heaven

i am here

for nothing less


since the choice is mine

as always

i am choosing

happiness

 


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a rock still beats inside
 

the cold lives under my pillow
with the memory of yesterday’s triumphs.
it is too bitter here now
as i turn and turn
into despair.

i wait
like fever in the darkness,
crying to awaken
from seemingly eternal dreams
of madness.

who will hear my awful tears?
where will new smiles blossom,
and when
will i forgive myself
my suicides?

12/8/96

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the spider's domain
 

as i turn to hang up
the phone
i notice in surprise
the scurry of
the spider
jagged down my wall

black and weird
and reddish
i remember the way
i'd end his life
with flick or smash
and shudder
in subtle guilty fear

but that was once
upon a time     and now
he treads his way
away
as i marvel
in sadness dread and
shame

recalling brutal footsteps
that rendered and render
multitudes

incomprehensible myriad
multitudes

of insects, birds
and human tribes

to quiet eternity
nonexistent and forgotten -
consigned to realms
beyond memory

i smile and cry
because i've changed

i turn and walk away
 

3/21/05

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my own desert rain
 

the wind  makes
me electric:
imbued with some strange
energy -
nameless,  but profound.

the sky and  i
are sullen,
though soon the sun
will chisel through
our clouds.

the trees
and i are waiting.
we dance and moan and
sway within
the wild embrace of time.

my hunger pools
like water;
escapes like steam
or percolates
toward the utter depth
of  nature’s core.

4/6/98

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a poem for you
 

i am captured,
starlight burns me -
love's a mystery
and a balm;

walking wounded
lost in shadows,
it's the storm
before the calm.

i have tasted
hell's damnation,
feasted too
on heaven's fare;

secret summers
have embraced me -
burning winters,
frozen prayer.

when my love
for you is done,
tears will have replaced
the sun.

5/17/05

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short autobio:

Leon Brown is a poet living in Silver City, New Mexico

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