Palestinians’ rise up against Richard Gere
By Andy Borowitz
Angry mob smashes Pretty Woman DVDs
"Richard Gere...ordered the Palestinian people to...vote, Palestinians in the Gaza Strip staged a violent uprising...were seen smashing "Pretty Woman" DVDs and shouting anti-Gere slogans throughout Gaza today."Oh gee oh, was any blood spilled in this "violent uprising"? We all know "Pretty Woman" was about a one night stand purchased for one million dollars and it recalls to Americans, at least, the old joke, "Now that we know what you are let's quibble over the price."
"...Gere's...command may not succeed... it could ultimately foster peace in the Middle East...since many Palestinians now hate Richard Gere more than they hate Israel."
How many is many? And as long as "hate" is the subject, how "many" Israelis "hate" Palestinians?
"Elsewhere, amazed that the Mars rover has lasted much longer than anyone expected, NASA scientists changed the name of the rover from Spirit to Rumsfeld."
"Elsewhere, Rumsfeld, who lost an election to a dead man before he rose to his current power, is also welcome, along with Bush who thinks it is a good idea for the US to go to Mars, to make the first trip."
"Elsewhere, our focus needs to be on the suffering on this one planet we all share, needs to remain with the recovery for the victims of the December 16th tsunami.
"To those who are given much,
much is expected."
The movie about the one-night stand was Indecent Proposal. And Rumsfeld didn't lose to the dead guy, Ashcroft did.
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