Schedule One Poem That Federal Law

Federal law that affects many of your friends and family is a concern:

Federal law made by I am not a crook Nixon
out to get hippies and blacks fifty years ago
and used by lazy cops to smell out a minority car
and go get doughnuts.
(Federal law as unfair as that statement.)
Federal law that put a record number
in federal prisons
over something with
the effect of a Benadryl
while allowing my friends to become addicted
to opoids?
That federal law?
You support Schedule one for pot
Caps lock is Republican!
Ya’ll ain’t nuts. Ya’ll’s jus’ downright mean.
You know this federal law
enslaves minorities and you

I’m a Republican Now A Poem by Goosegrass


I’m a Republican Now

Why should I send your kids to socialist public school?
My kids have to pay for college.
Your kids should pay for grade school. Educate your own kids.

Why should I pay for your socialist police protection.
I live in a good neighborhood; we can afford our own.
The police aren’t here anyway, isn’t that why I need guns?
The police are in the black community making money.
Why should I pay for that?

Why should I pay for your socialist fire protection.
I can afford insurance for that.
If the poor neighborhoods burn, we can develop them.

Why should I pay for your socialist clean water.
I can install a filtration system.
Clean your own damn water,
hire your own damn policeman and fireman,
educate your own brats and
get off the socialist feedbag.

Every MAN for HIMself
You burn my flag and I’ll burn a cross in your yard.
I’m a Republican now.

Editor’s note:
This is satire. Goosegrass isn’t really a Republican. Please send no more KKK invitations.

Make Mayberry Great Again

I hate to be the one.
It hurts, but here goes.

Mayberry was not a place,
it was
It was not real and we can’t go back there.
There was no there.

I’m sorry to be the one but, you see,
there were black people in North Carolina back then.

Andy, Barney and the rest?

Actors, every one.

I’m sorry.

Nerd Poem 2015

Run the nerds down,


They drop their books,
trip when picking them up.

Laugh you assholes, laugh.

Glorify Vanderbilt instead,

Without him
there are still railroads.
Without Watts
for your heroes,
your greedy heroes.

Vote vote vote for you heroes.

They serve you such nice dinners of
flags and crosses;

and laugh at the nerd,

without social skills

without coordination

without dignity.