by Paul Kesler
You've entered the theater. In the
seat ahead is a hunchback. There's a munching noise. You try to move, but
the place is jammed.
You've come to a restaurant. You
start to eat, then hear someone laughing. It's a hunchback in the booth
next to you. He snaps his fingers, and the most beautiful waitress in the
world sits down on his lap.
At a baseball game, eighth inning.
Suddenly a hunchback comes from the bullpen and starts winding up. You
leave the stadium, but the usher blocks your exit. There's a hump on his
At a concession stand, buying a
drink. You look down at the ice cubes, which are shaped like tiny hunchbacks.
They belch. You drop your cup.
At the racetrack. You've bet on
a horse that can't lose. As they round the final turn, your favorite is
breathing hard, then a hunchback pulls into the outside lane and surges
into the lead. He wins, and the crowd goes wild.
A policeman's outside your apartment.
You try to enter, but the cop won't let you. He says he's seen a hunchback
passing out counterfeit bills. They have your face on the front.
It's 2:00 A.M., outside town. You
thought you'd shaken the cops, but here's one in your headlights.
"Are you the guy's been selling dirty
movies?" You shake your head. "But you must be, it looks just like you."
He hands out a photograph. It's a
hunchback with a gigantic grin.