efforts to trace the mysterious disappearance of former Iraqi dictator
Saddam Hussein have encountered a new snag.
from undisclosed intelligence sources indicate that five exact duplicates
of Mr. Hussein have been discovered in an underground bunker near a residential
sector of Saddam's home town of Tikrit.
it is too early to verify whether all five Saddams are authentic, it is
nevertheless known that the clones represent an initial phase in a secret
Iraqi plan to disorient the U.S. media, as well as a longer-range plan
to reinstall the dictator at some indeterminate future date. Known in Iraqi
circles as "Operation Trapdoor," the projected scenario called for all
but one of the Saddams to disappear at a chosen cue from the clone most
positioned after the withdrawal of forces from Baghdad.
he was to occupy an improvised palace, patched together with lumber from
destroyed dwellings in his vicinity.
least one of the Saddams has been dismissed as a forgery. When coalition
troops first entered the bunker, the clones were engaged in a spirited
rendering of the Iraqi national anthem, but as reported by one British
soldier who examined the group, a key was spotted protruding from the back
of the third member in line. Why a wind-up toy should have found its way
into the group is unknown; however, Pentagon officials claim that opposition
forces from Kurdish sectors in the North planted the mannequin while no
clones are presently under interrogation by agents of the CIA and foreign
intelligence. For the most part, they have been reported as well-behaved,
despite a propensity for breaking into song at unpredictable moments.
the implications of the fake Saddams for future diplomacy, it's apparent
that the cloning program may be the "smoking gun" the U.S. has been
seeking. As Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz stated, "Operation
Trapdoor is the vanguard of a diabolical plan to take over the entire spectrum
of Middle East resources, and is thus a direct threat to U.S. interests.
It is, in fact, a Weapon of Mass Destruction, and as such must be met with
the entire arsenal of Free World defenses. We will
these clones, neutralize them, and will smoke out any additional Saddams
that may have escaped the immediate confines of the Tikrit bunker."
reported that a sixth Saddam was observed by a refugee eyewitness near
the recently-liberated outskirts of Basrah in the south, but this is unconfirmed.
Nevertheless, the fact that Saddam 6 was seen raising an American
flag in the middle of a town square casts doubt on the claim. Also, the
fact that the latest Saddam was singing, not the Iraqi anthem, but the
Star-Spangled Banner, is enough to raise eyebrows among Western officials.
Shiite refugees, questioned on the matter, have denied any knowledge of