THE BALLAD OF FACEBOOK (a musical in the making) by Sara L Russell 26th Jan ’23 at 21:19 Introduction Oh babes I feel so bored, what can I do? I think I’ll go on Facebook for a few… Part 1: Flakes and Fakes Like me like me go on and like me ‘cause I’m fluffy and I have a new book out ‘cause I posted a photo of myself as a kid when I had a rather fetching pout I’m far more fascinating than you’ll ever know look, here’s my back lawn when it was buried in snow here’s a lunchtime selfie of my latest dish here’s me next to some old photoshopped bitch Oh but there’s a blonde strolling by the Tiber with her two perfect little blond boys A golden sunrise smouldering behind her You can almost smell the spices, hear the noise Ya this is me walking like a tiger by some Indian river, with the boys, Oh I think someone just told me it’s the Tiber The smell was like, much grosser than the noise. But ya thanks for the comments, all my darlings My likes have rocketed to fifty K I’ve traded up, flamingos for the starlings And I’m having awesome nookie every day! For all the nobodies never make my heart bleed For I have a blog they never bother to read Part 2: Catfish and Chips Like me, like me be smart and like me ‘cause I have everything your kitchen needs You look like a munter more than likely ‘cause your face mask dosesn’t have Nigella seeds We’re making greater riches than you’ll ever have by making romance pitches to some lonely chav And if you don’t have Bitcoin you can buy it here Just invest and watch your savings disappear Oh but there’s a lonely heart playing poker She’s ripe to be groomed for romance She wants a king, but here’s a joker we’ll lead her on the merriest dance Ya this is me sailing on my dinghy Ya I love you, even though you’re ninety three The customs officer’s trying to sting me Please send me forty smackers urgently Oh they don’t give a monkey’s if you’re sad or bereaved Tell it to your bank and you will not be believed … Part 3: Cool and Uncool Like me, like me, someone like me, my kids don’t even post here for a laugh maybe ‘cause when they were very tiny I posted photos of them in the bath So when did they decide that it was so uncool to comment on a parent’s photos, as a rule, To ever dare admit that they belong to me Since when’s it cool, to disown your family? Yes, this is Ken and I with Auntie Mary The younger ones all scampered off to hide Maybe they find TicToc somewhat less scary than Facebook, with the oldies by their side. For now girls of eighteen are giving Botox tips And twenty-three year olds have silicone-plumped lips. Epilogue Like me, like me Go on and like me Some people never learn Fill in your details password or site key and sort key, and hit return.
Sara Louise Russell, aka PinkyAndrexa, is a UK poet and poetry ezine editor, specialising particularly in sonnets, lyric-style poetry and occasionally writing in more modern styles. She founded Poetry Life & Times and edited it from 1998 to 2006, when she handed it over to Robin Ouzman Hislop and Amparo Arrospide; Robin now runs it as Editor from Poetry Life & Times at this site. She is currently founder and Editor of the blog journal, http://poetrylifetimes.blogspot.co.uk ; which is a sister publication to Poetry Life & Times. Her poems and sonnets have been published in many paper and online publications including Sonnetto Poesia, Mindful of Poetry and Autumn Leaves a monthly Poetry ezine from the late Sondra Ball. Her sonnets also currently appear in the recently published anthology of sonnets Phoenix Rising from the Ashes. She is also one of the first poets ever to be published on multimedia CD ROMs, published by Kedco Studios Inc.; the first one being “Pinky’s Little Book of Shadows”, which was featured by the UK’s national newspaper The Mirror, in October 1999. (Picture link for Mirror article) Angel Fire