Compassion in Hell


don’t remember the details how i arrived
or how long ago, only that i seemed to be the only one
believing i would get out if i found someone in authority
who would help me make a phone call to a friend or relative
that would pick me up
so many people moving about
all afraid or unwilling to talk to me
the only bathroom i found was a short spiral
to a small hole in the floor, no door, i squatted
hearing someone coming, the inner wall was close enough
i reached out my arm, waved my hand, said “taken”
it was a young man, i expected rape, and said,
“would you rape a grandmother?
someone might rape your grandmother”
now we were standing at the entrance
his friend came along and said “com’on, man”
i continued my search, still believing…
what i found was a huge/high fenced-in enclosure
adjacent to a hospital, i remembered
that was where my hell started

one with compassion in a tan jump suit
told me to follow him and i did
believing he was a kind of trustee
we arrived at a partly boarded area with a horizontal crack
large enough to crawl threw which i did
with a sense of urgency
this area was less crowded
he led me to his car, i got in the back seat
believing he was going to drive me somewhere
where i could get help, but he got out of the car
and walked away, i walked toward a small group
one man was smoking a filtered cigarette
have no idea how long since i’d had one
asked if he had a spare, no answer
asked another one if he had any cigarettes
he handed me an open carton, i asked
if he had a light as i reached into the box
what i found was a couple of dried bread sticks
and a handful of rice and instantly realized
the only difference of here from there
here was some food, i wasn’t that hungry
yet moving around more i discovered
we are still behind the huge/high fence

don’t remember how i got home
sitting on my bed
a cool summer breeze coming in my window
somewhere around midnight
but do remember my first thought…
this is what my world is coming to
soothing my cheeks and soothing my hair
into knowing the need to change
to a simpler life
for a beginning
and the need to write my story