A Liberal’s Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives

To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,

I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last week’s election.
You’re worried that the country is heading toward a very bad place you don’t
want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended with so much yet
to do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk, and I understand.

Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for you. I, and the
millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic Congress, have a
pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that we offer you because
we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know what we plan to do
with our newfound power — and, to be specific, what we will do to you and for you.

Thus, here is our Liberal’s Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:

Dear Conservatives and Republicans,

I, and my fellow signatories, hereby make these promises to you:

1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never, ever, call
you “unpatriotic” simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you to
dissent and disagree with us.

2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consider your
behavior to be “different” or “immoral.” Who you marry is none of our business.
Love and be in love — it’s a wonderful gift.

3. We will not spend your grandchildren’s money on our personal whims or to
enrich our friends. It’s your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for you.

4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring
your sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never to
send your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.

5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal health
coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we promise
that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay. And
when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases that affect you
and your loved ones, we’ll make sure those advances are available to you and
your family, too.

6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean up
our air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathe the
cleaner air and drink the purer water.

7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote every
single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice. Immediately.
We will protect you.

8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do there
as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count your age from the
moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.

9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or
a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren’t much of a hunter and you
should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make our streets and schools as
freeas we can from these weapons and we will protect your children just as we
would protect ours.

10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you — and your employees —
that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will pay
conservative women that wage, too.

11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don’t put those
beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most radical
religious beliefs (“Blessed are the poor,” “Blessed are the peacemakers,” “Love
your enemies,” “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for
a rich man to enter the kingdom of God,” and “Whatever you did for one of the
least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”). We will let people in other
countries know that God doesn’t just bless America, he blesses everyone. We will
discourage religious intolerance and fanaticism — starting with the fanaticism here
at home, thus setting a good example for the rest of the world.

12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid
for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead
of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our
side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we
are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our
party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition.

I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You are every
bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We sink or swim as one.
Thank you for your years of service to this country and for giving us the opportunity
to see if we can make things a bit better for our 300 million fellow Americans — and
for the rest of the world.

Michael Moore

editor’s note: to sign the pledge go to

Victims of Papal Pontificating: The Family

he was drunk walking
down the middle of the road
the sun long since departed
there was little traffic
but his death wish was real
in its alcohol disguise

padre had forgiven his sins
he understood confess
but Forgiven before Atone
did not compute
(hard wired is hard
on the cranium)

he was sober walking
down the iron road
cops say he stumbled
in front of the oncoming train
lacking evidence of either
accidental or on purpose

great grandmother
confessed to her grandmother children
“I was taught only dirty girls enjoy sex,
even after marriage. Your father drank
to douse testosterone.”

Nancy Pelosi – “We’re not out for revenge.”

Yes Pelosi, it was never about revenge,
it is all about high crimes and treason,
and in a country of law – justice thus
is in order for our future.

From the past: Iran/Contra
Robert M. Gates et al
deaths and dollars wasted
Nicaragua still has Ortega
by their people’s choice.

“Torture secrets” is still torture
No, revenge is not
what we the people want –
it is the US secret government
out of the spin cycle and hung
in the sunshine of our lives.

Seven Come Eleven, 2006

did we do it in a booth
did we do it in a shoe
o father
o mother
o child

can we lie our way to heaven
will we curse our way to hell

did we all become hohokas
talking backwards from our walk
oh spinners
oh talking points

who will vote the status quo
who will remember
the flip that floped
stay the course
the uniter

Never about staying the course?
“Hell no! It was about
Iraq, Iran, Syria, Lebanon,
Haiti, Sudan
and beyond!”

hear it echo from the mountain
top again
the ancient
scream for power?

did we do it in a booth
did we do it in a shoe
o father
o mother
o child

What cha doin’ MaƄana?

Chenny goin’ hunting, 1st time
since his hunting accident.

Who will forget Bush got
Saddam but not Osama?

Who’s talking politics
like Their hair was on fire?

Make three wishes bend over
touch the ground
(as we did before we evolved
into homo sapiens; a touching
of roots so to say)
stand tall and spread your arms
hands open to the heavens
reclaim the link between the worlds
of Earth and Sky

then Vote

Got Votes?

Dirty laundry on the line
Who’s the dirtiest of all?
Out damn spot upon the dress
Down with pants below the knees
Turn the Cross into a Swastika
Elephants become Hippos
Donkeys kick ass
Lots of Dogs in this fight
A backwards God of sorts
The Who our god is IS
The who who covets our attention
O Money God
(creating perversive sex)
O War God
(creating War Presidents)
O Righteous God
(creating Self-Righteousness)

It’s Sat ur Day before the Vote
The World (once again) is WATCHING
AND listening
Listen and look what ad money buys:
A vote for Dems is a vote for Osama
(echoed by a Rep on C-SPAN’s
call in this morning)
This time, this time
the Mirror God is stuck upon the wall
of US voting booths!

“civilians on the battlefield were a nuisance, not the center of gravity” (and only COLLATERAL DAMAGE)

Ted is Haggard: The president of the N.A.E.
(National Association of Evangelicals)
resigned after denying accusation
of male prostitute that the pastor paid for sex
for over three years.

Elsewhere in the news:
The letters — about 300 in all,
sent to a New Jersey minister —
ended up dumped in the ocean,
most of them unopened.

Sample letter:
“I’m still praying to hit the lottery twice:
first the $50,000,” one man wrote.
“Than after some changes have taken place
let me hit the millionaire.”

they are still beating their women,
Hagar and Sarah,
fucking women AND men
not their wives or maybe their wives too
that’s how angry testosterone gets
in the process
of replacing Goddess with God
polytheism with monotheism
Look Dick!
See how they turned
fuck into a dirty word.
Poor Jane!
Poor Dick and Jane,
in their hearts understand heavy.
Will someone send them a car?
They only have 4 days
to reach the election booth.

One on the Flying Trapeze

there i was un expecting
standing alone
with holy stains and politics
on the line with 5 days to go
balance pole
pulling left, then right,
i held my breath and waited for the out
out dirt
out corruption
out with deadly treating our neighbors
got God?
as It is Written in Your holy Book
got Allah?
as It is Written in Your holy Book
Got Jehovah?
as It is Written in Your holy Book

it is the way of peace
and peace is in us all
comes from facing fears
and recognizing our own demon(s)
that drives our anger
thus balancing our way
to the common dream of all humans: